A Tribute to My Father

This quarter in college I have public speaking and 2 weeks ago I had to give a speech of tribute. I wrote about my dad. My mother asked me to share this with you. So, if you will indulge me, I would now like to share my tribute of the strongest man I have ever known. Those of you who know the full story will notice that I could not include everything my father has been through, so I tried to pick just the major events.

Lauren Bruce Coats Jr was born on August 13, 1948 in Ellisville, MS. His life passed without incident until the summer of his 12th year, when during a simple childhood game of tag, Lauren fell and cracked his skull. The damage to his skull and brain tissue was so severe that the doctors decided he would not live long enought to warrant the procedures needed to put his skull back together properly.

Needless to say, he proved them wrong, not only did he survive, but he overcame the injury & brain damage he suffered and graduated from Pascagoula High School in the top 5 of his class. Following high school, he entered University of Southern Mississippi majoring in computer science. In his second year there, he met a woman named Lynda Richardson. Lauren felt an immediate connection and wanted to get to know her better; for her part, however, she thought he was stubborn, over-protective and conceited. So of course... they got married. The couple wed on June 10, 1972.

Married life started off well, Lauren pursued a career in computer programming while Lynda worked as an elementary school teacher. In April of 1974, the couple discovered that Lynda was expecting a child. Their son Joshua Lauren was born December 27, 1974 in Union, MS.

Life was very full now for the growing family as Lauren moved from job to job advancing his career. While living in Metarie, LA, Lauren & Lynda were introduced to their second child... ME. Naomi Rebekah was born January 6, of 1978.

In February of the same year, the Coats family moved to Houston, TX where Lauren continued to advance in the computer programming world. He did this all while finding a way to serve those less fortunate. My parents opened our home to those with no where else to go. They would stay with us they got jobs & able to get places of their own. Lauren could be stubborn, cynical and an intellectual snob, but he always had a genuine compassion for other people.

Lauren was working in the IT dept of Houston Lighting & Power in 1985 when he was injured in a car accident. Soon after, he began to experience periods of seizure and blackouts. He was diagnosed with a form of epilepsy and was unable to work. During the next 3 years, Lynda worked to support the family while Lauren Mr. Mom as much as he was able. Also during this time, in 1988, a family friend asked Lauren & Lynda if they would consider taking her son in to raise because she was no longer able to care for him. This is how Jason Sword became my little brother and a part of our family.

By the end of 1988, my father had recovered enough to go back to work, however, due to cutbacks at NASA there was a shortage of available computer jobs in the Houston area. Lauren began to search job openings in other places. Lynda was raised in Montgomery, AL and her family sent job information & applications about openings in this area. Lauren was hired on with the State of Alabama as a programmer analyst. The Coats family moved to Prattville, AL on July 27, 1989 and life began to settle into over 9 years of relative peace.

Then one Saturday morning in early 1999, Lauren awoke unable to move & had no feeling on his left side. Paramedics were called and Lauren was taken to the hospital. It was decided that he had suffered a stroke caused by a hemorrage in his brain. The doctors believed that with the new damage to his brain (on top of the ole), he would not to be able to ever walk again nor recover his mental capabilities. During the next 3 months, Lauren proved every prognosis wrong and never gave up. He had to use a cane but he was walking. He was even able to return to his computer programming job and life returned to normal.

That is until February 2003 when Lauren suffered another stroke much like the first. To Lauren's disappointment, no matter how hard he tried, he was unable to regain full functions. He was relegated to using a walker. He developed a pinched nerve in his neck, which caused him to lose almost all use of his left arm. At this time his doctors placed him on permanent disability.

While this was necessary for his health, Lauren felt the loss keenly. He experienced some days of depression, believing that usefulness was over. But as always, Lauren couldn't give up...not even on himself. He continously found ways to use his still impressive skills, personality & intellect to enrich the lives of all around him. He tutored math to needs kids, he acted as life-coach to any one who asked. Even after 2 more strokes, open heart surgery and several lesser health concerns, Lauren maintained his hope & faith.

In March 2007, he was hospitalized because of a severe infection causing open sores that were not healing. After 5 months of treatment in a local hospital, the doctors tranferred LAuren to UAB (the top ranked hospital in the state). While there, the medical staff at UAB discovered the cause of the infection. On September 16, 2007, Lauren was informed that he had cancer and that it gone undiagnosed & untreated so long that is was already in his lymph nodes and was no longer operable.

Lauren asked about treatment options, and after much testing it was decided that Lauren's body was not strong enough to undergo the chemotherapy needed to kill the cancer. Options were very limited, but even now Lauren was unwilling to just accept his fate. He and his doctors devised a round of radiation just powerful enough to stop the growth of the cancer. This was done in the hope that it would buy enough time for physical therapy to strengthen his body enough for the chemo. The plan seemed to be working for about a week, then on October 5, new tests showed that the radiation was causing respitory & kidney difficulties that were more harmful than the benefits the radiation might bring.

The doctors then began the process of sending Lauren home. He was scheduled to be released into hospice care at home on Tuesday Oct. 9. On monday, October 8, Lauren experienced severe breathing difficulties that convinced his doctors that the had come. All the family were called and told to come say our goodbyes. We all did. However, even after all he had been through, Lauren was still not done fighting. He not only survived the night, but he was strong enough to come home as originally scheduled. He has been placed on hospice and there is no cure in sight, but even he is still a fighter.

Throughout my life, I have come across some truly amazing personalities, but none has ever shown more fight, determination & spit than my father Lauren. I can't say that I had the perfect father, in fact, I can certainly look back at my life and find things he could have done better. The one thing I will never be able to say is that he didn't try to do his best. I don't know how much longer I have him, but I will always be grateful for all he taught me. My father taught me to fight for waht is important, stand up for what I believe & that the only to truly fail is to give up. He taught me that by leaning on our Heavenly Father, nothing can ever defeat us. Finally through him I learned that true does not depend on how much you can bench press, but on the determination of your heart.

NOTE: After setting this up to post automatically tonight, my father passed away. I am still posting my tribute as-is but will now provide an update.

Lauren Bruce Coats Jr. went to meet our Lord at 4:05pm today. For the past week, he had been on "continous terminal care" (or CTC) with hospice. He just kept holding on. Today a young man with whom my father had been close came to see him. He had been injured and unable to come before today. He left our home at 2:30 and my father was gone less than two hours later. My father always did things his own way, in his own time. So whos really surprised? I loved my father very much and I miss him already. I just have to remember that every tear I shed is for me, because for once in more than 10 years, my father is no longer in pain - no longer sick - no longer weak. He can be strong in the arms of his Savior forever.

The End is Nigh

Hi all,

As most of you know, my father took a turn for the worst earlier this week. His body began expelling the excess blood and other fluids from his system. On Monday night his blood pressure was so low that his hospice nurse couldn't even get a reading. He was placed on terminal care watch, meaning round-the-clock nursing supervision and all believed that he would not be with us much longer. During the night Monday & Tuesday he did stop breathing and probably die, only to recover whenever my mom came in to say goodbye. Any of you who know my dad know that the man never gave up without a fight, why should death be any different. He has rallied for a moments here or there but for the most past has maintained his poor status throughout the week. Yet he doesn't seem ready to go quite yet. This morning the hospice staff decided to take him off of the round-the-clock care. They are all amazed that he is still here, but then they don't know my dad. He is terminal and he is fading, but he's gonna do it his way.

Thank you so much to all of you for your prayers and concerns. It means so much to me to know that you guys are out there.

As always,
~Rebekah~