Hi

You know for a girl that doesn't do anything, I stay awful busy...

As most of you know, mom moved out to Arizona and is teaching at the Native American mission school out there. Most days she loves it but it is a challenge for her.

I have been cleaning out and rearranging my house. Mom's not going to recognize it when she comes home at Christmas. My brother Josh is my roommate now, which is fine except that he does not have a car of his own (his was stolen). He goes to school 4 days a week which severely limits the amount of time I can spend trying to find a job. I have been looking for work for the last two months and I can't seem to find anything. I've applied for everything from office jobs to McDonald's, I've had 4 interviews...but nothing. I am out of money and Josh is having to pay most of our bills. You can all imagine how much I like that feeling and the effect this situation is having on my self-worth issues. Mom bought me a ticket so I was able to go see her for two weeks in early October and had a great time. I have had some personal/family situations I have had to deal with in one form or another. I really need your prayer and support. I am falling back into behaviors that worry me. I seldom if ever seek out other people. I am eating way much and sleeping way too little. If someone inquires about me, I dismiss their concern because I don't know how to accept any comfort. All words of encouragement sound like empty rhetoric to me...you know like that's just what they are supposed to say. Last time I felt this way I ended up in counseling for 6 months, this time I don't have that option. Thankfully my time in counseling before did make me stronger so I am strong enough now to recognize the problems. I just feel so pathetic, I'm 30 years old and I can't get a job. I was planning to transfer to Faulkner in January, because for once in my life I actually KNOW what path I want to take in my life but I can't even afford to go to school. I don't know what to do. Mom told me today that the school she works at is hiring office staff, so maybe that is the Lord's leading...but I don't want to go. I don't mean that in a pouty way just that Arizona was supposed to be a new start for mom and a chance for me to finally have no one else to take care of. Going to Arizona will completely negate all of the good that had come of it in the first place.

Please pray for me, I don't know what to do. I like my life here, I have good friends for moral support, I was starting the school program I want, I have a house I finally have the way I want it. But I can't make the $500 a month that it costs to maintain that life. That is so depressing.

As Always,
~Rebekah~

Citizen Soldier

This is sponsored by the National Guard but I think it is an amazing tribute to ALL our troops.

Test day :(

Its Finals day for me…I have three tests to take today and one tomorrow. I had my first test this morning at 8:30. I think I did really well! But I am about to die from the heat, apparently no one remembered to start the air conditioner this morning…it’s 87 degrees in here. You all know me and heat! Oh, well, I‘ll make it through, I always do. Just sometimes I get tired of making it through. Sometimes I wish I could finally make it…whatever IT is.

Life goes on, the world keeps turning and God is still in His heaven and in my heart. Have a great day to you all.

Be Real and Stay Safe,

~Rebekah~

Toot, Toot!!!

That's my own horn you hear...

Hi all,

I'm so excited and proud of myself because I found out today that I am having a poem published in my college's literary magazine. That is just too cool, right?!!! This is especially great to me because the poem being honored was written about dad.

It was a big surprise, the poem was an assignment for my English class, I never knew it won any kind of award or anything. I'm so happy. That may seem like a such a little thing to be so excited about, but if really think about me, you already understand. Me, a published writer, me? I'm not the one that achieves this type of recognition. i am so grateful to God for giving this accomplishment to take pride in.

Gotta go for now,

As always, Stay Safe & Be Real,

~Rebekah~

Keep on MARCHing!

Hi All,

I hope all of your lives are going well. For me, every day is another day. I miss Daddy every day and while there are still moments, overall I'm doing pretty well. Thank you for continuing to pray for me.

I'm having an insomniac moment tonight so I thought I would touch base with you all. As most of you know, my mom and I are still living together. We have pretty well settled in to our new place. Mom is trying to make this home, buying new decor and finding themes for different rooms. I thought my room was gonna be easy, it was painted a nice dark green color. However, about two weeks ago, I noticed that the paint was pulling away from the wall. It soon began peeling off in strips. The former owners decided to paint over wallpaper without primer. (Yeah, that's gonna work :)) So I found a new color for my wall and purchased it and the primer. I got home and realized that because of the amount of furniture I have in my room, I have to do this painting one wall at a time. So, I move furniture, scrape all the old off, prime, let dry overnight. Next day, I paint, let that dry, then I put my wallpaper border across the top, then I move the furniture back and start over. I finished one section of wall, and I LOVE it!!! I think it looks great, but I can't seem to find the energy to do anymore. It's harder than I thought. The primer I have to use is oil-based, so it's basically impossible to clean my brush/roller after I prime. No problem, right, I bought one set for primer and one set for paint. However, when trying to fit this project in around my mom, school and my life, the primer completely dried up and made the roller unusable. So, now I get to prime my walls with just a paintbrush, it takes FOREVER. AAAAaaaaaa!!! If only it didn't look so pretty all finished, maybe I could convince myself that it's not worth it, but I can see that it is. I'll have to send pics of my room when it's done...look for those around August :) Just Kidding, (I hope).

Well, I better go, my wall's not gonna scrape itself.

As Always

~Rebekah~